I'm way past my sleeping hour and I'm totally worn out so I thought I could sleep without popping my pills. As usual, the thoughts came flooding the moment I shut my eyes. Right now, I'm sitting in my den, waiting for the pill to work its magic while the birds are chirping as they wake.
I'm disgusted by my own laziness and incompetency. Almost every single one of my friends are about to wake up to get their asses to work, while I'm still here, like always. I'm disgusted not because its been two months but I've done nothing
I'm disgusted by my own laziness and incompetency. Almost every single one of my friends are about to wake up to get their asses to work, while I'm still here, like always. I'm disgusted not because its been two months but I've done nothing
. I'm disgusted because I have no qualms being this unmotivated. I've been giving a well-rehearsed speech to anyone who asks about my job search progress. Everything sounds promising, only because those are my stories, and they are written in such a way.
There is no drive to enter the work force, even girls cannot entice me. Till now, I still cannot believe I've came this far, I've completed the never-ending chase of education and worked for a couple of years . I know this is real, but I cannot accept it. Somehow, I'm still hoping I'll wake to find myself dreaming, I'm hoping I'll wake and be 18 again.
I cannot live this life, this isn't as planned. I'm supposed to be doing a lot of things now, I'm supposed to be driven, to be earning my big bucks, to be achieving something, but all I get are nightmares, nightmares from withdrawals.
I lose myself everyday and I spend my everyday searching for myself. Sometimes I wish if it's impossible to turn back time, at least let it stop. I quite like being in this pajamas, in this darkness, in this state of tranquility. I cannot stand the noises in the day, the emptiness in the house, the never-ending questions I have no answers to.
I miss myself, I miss my friends, I miss my women, I miss my love, I miss having a real purpose in life.
There is no drive to enter the work force, even girls cannot entice me. Till now, I still cannot believe I've came this far, I've completed the never-ending chase of education and worked for a couple of years . I know this is real, but I cannot accept it. Somehow, I'm still hoping I'll wake to find myself dreaming, I'm hoping I'll wake and be 18 again.
I cannot live this life, this isn't as planned. I'm supposed to be doing a lot of things now, I'm supposed to be driven, to be earning my big bucks, to be achieving something, but all I get are nightmares, nightmares from withdrawals.
I lose myself everyday and I spend my everyday searching for myself. Sometimes I wish if it's impossible to turn back time, at least let it stop. I quite like being in this pajamas, in this darkness, in this state of tranquility. I cannot stand the noises in the day, the emptiness in the house, the never-ending questions I have no answers to.
I miss myself, I miss my friends, I miss my women, I miss my love, I miss having a real purpose in life.
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